Home.  Back in the (physical) spaces I left.  But my interior ‘space’ has shifted.  Now, of course, there are many things trying to jerk my back to the way-things-were.  Such is life.  It’s not an evil or abnormal thing – in fact, it’s just the way things happen.  And therein lies challenge.

What have I learned?  What sense do I make of it all?  or do I?  How will I bring with me those new things I’ve learned?  How will they fit in to the old spaces?  What difference will all of this wonderful inner experience make in this outside world  of my usual experience?  Ugh.  More questions to live with.

Slowly, I’m trying to move gently and non-judgmentally back into the rhythm-less rhythm of my life. No schedule, limited immediate responsibilities, empty space awaiting an infusion of energy, an empty canvass longing for some inspiration.  My history tells me I haven’t done so well with an agenda-less world.  And I’ve always depended on others to set my agenda for me.  So, now, one challenge is to begin (gently) exploring the new possibilities.  Gently.



About Victor Mansfield

I'm mid-fifties, left-handed, right-brained, father of two, on a journey of surrender. Also, I'm an Episcopal priest, rector of Calvary Episcopal Church, Fletcher, NC.
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3 Responses to Adjusting

  1. Coming off an extensive retreat, is akin to coming off the mountain. We come back refueled and re-energized by God and for God. The old you discarded, the new you ready to walk forwards.

    We want to hold on to the mountain experience for as long as we can. Because reintegration back into the world you knew, will, probably, take the wind out of your spiritual sails. Try to fill your own agenda and not let others dictate what you will do, or what you will think or say.

    They gave you time to get away from it all. And I think it would be bad repayment not to bring forwards what you have learned about yourself, god and others. I don’t think they expect you to be the same Vic they sent away 6 weeks ago. Take your time in reintegration. Honor the spirit within you every day. Reflect on your time and bring forwards the lessons you learned and share them with others. Bring the mountain to your fellows. Don’t hide your lamp under a bushel barrel.

    Easter is coming, the great vigil approaches. Dig into your faith and enter into the celebration of faith with your brothers and sisters. But most of all, do not forget what the brothers gave you.

    One day at a time. One minute at a time.

  2. Jill Meares says:

    Wise advise! All I have to add is to be your found self. It has been there all along. You have just begun to discover Vic.

  3. Raybob says:

    Hey handsome! Welcome home 🙂 I hope that you had some really, really good experiences while you were away and that some rest and healing took place.

    Much love!

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